Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Class & Crass: Part II

So, Here I go, playin' Star again...There I go, Turn the Page...

The Elite Hall of Shame:

A twist to Mike Shinoda's "Remember The Name", this name here will be remembered by more than a fair share of million African people. I mean, nothing can get worse than bottling up a 120th minute penalty, and Asamoah Gyan did just that shooting into the top stand (Did they have a "Hit Me and win an all expenses paid World Tour" banner up there?), thereby breaking the hopes of millions of Africans around the world and writing his name forever into the Elite Hall of Shame comprising of Roberto Baggio and David Beckham. While this is crass, Gyan was still one of the revealations of this world cup. Crass: 8, Class: 4

Dani Jarque, Siempre Con Nosotros:

A Friend, In Deed! Iniesta scored the 116th minute winner for Spain, the only goal of the match, and the goal which landed Spain the world cup, and instead of going mad with joy, he flashed his undershirt at the cameras displaying "Dani Jarque, Siempre Con Nosotros", which in English means, "Dani Jarque, Always with Us". It was a tribute to the late, Espanyol player and dear friend Dani Jarque, who died under tragic circumstances leaving a 9 month old pregnant girlfriend who heard him dying over the phone. You cannot get classier than that. Class: 100, Crass: ZERO

Critically Acclaimed Acts:

I'm actually spoilt for choice here. Like its previous editions, this World Cup has had its fair share of stand out performances; the difference being that the stand out performances came from totally unfancied players. I'll go with two of the best. Its only a quirk of Fate that both have links to Maradona. While '86 was graced with the Class & Crass of Maradona, '10 saw another El Diego take home the Golden Ball. Diego Forlan carried his team and his nation's hopes on his shoulders to the semi finals and almost secured them the 3rd place berth and a bronze medal by a last gasp free kick which bounced off the crossbar; the only true master of the Jabulani. While the new El Diego reminded everyone of Maradona's class, a sprightly 20 yeard old kid reminded everyone of Maradona's crass. Yes, Thomas Mueller walked away with the FIFA Young Player and The Golden Boot award, demolishing Argentina in the process by scoring 2 beautiful goals. He was the same kid who infuriated Maradona so much at a press conference by sitting next to him that Maradona walked out. I am sure the moment when Maradona was labelled as Maragona by the
press, he'll have a cemented a fact in his drug infested brain: Never second guess the kids. Class: 10, Crass: 10 (Obviously, the crass points are for Maradona)

Best Supporting Act:

Too many times you see the attackers take away the limelight. However, this world cup, right from the outset was about not conceding goals first and scoring later. Its no surprise then that Spain (7 clean sheets in 8 matches) won the World Cup. The biggest stand-out performance from a defender was probably from Sergio Ramos who topped the Castrol World Cup Player Ranking (for all players) and who handled pretty much everything thrown at him, including the kitchen sink. And to think that Jose Mourinho wanted Sergio Ramos to play as a center-back; now that would've been an enormous waste of attacking talent. Ramos has once again proven his critics wrong and firmly established himself as one of the Top 5 right backs in the world. Sergio "Peek-A-Boo" Busquets playing as a holding midfielder was the most fouled player in the tournament and you may be forgiven for assuming that he was kicked that much because people wanted to see his Oscar winning theatrics. Jokes apart, he was one of the best holding midfielders of the tournament. And a big shout to Iker Casillas, for carrying Spain through to the finals and winning it, saving one-y-ones and a penalty in the process. Class: 10, Crass: 0

The Best Comeback:

No, I'm not talking about the Italy-Slovakia game, though it was probably the best comeback games of this World Cup. I'm talking about a comeback of a different kind. Spain lost their first game to the Swiss and the erstwhile media in England cited dubious "Spanish" media sources as reporting that Iker Casillas was distracted by Sarah Carbonero (his TV Journalist girlfriend who covered the action from behind the former's goalpost), and conceded the goal. While this little nugget of dubious information was laughable in itself, it was rendered all the more uncredible by the fact that Casillas had saved the shot and it bounced of Pique on the way in. Casillas did have his go at the media though, by kissing Sarah on national television in the post match interview after Spain won the World Cup. Spontaneous Love! Class: 100, Crass: ZERO

The Best WAG:

One word: Sarah Carbonero. Okay, that's two words, followed by some more. Here goes.. Sarah is much better than any of the normal window shopping, glory hunting, blow-your-football-lover's-hard-earned-money-for-a-4000 Euros-Lingerie WAGs that you see. She is a TV Journalist, an earner and those homely girls that you generally do not see associated with football players (that is if you discount Kaka who has married a nun). A lot of Class points to Sarah and double Crass points for other WAGs.

...Well! To Quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that". I'm sure I've left quite a few of other moments out like the Vuvuzelas and the cursed Jabulani. But I'd like some choicy comments from you about those moments.


۩ÜſβАПΞ ۩ ANGER۩ said...

you should have had a whole new section for fans n have mentioned larissa riquelme...she will be remembered for sure!

Ashay K. said...

Oh you are so right. I never quite got around to mentioning Larissa Riquelme, the Dutch miniskirt brigade and Maradona's promise of running nude. Nice suggestion mate :)

Nikhil Rane said...

All in all, a good 2 part article..can't wait to see your name printed in national dailies

zizowen said...

i think ashy you are too harsh on WAGS... as a journalist sara is exposed to many players she has the life to the limelight she is hardly a homely girl.... no wonder most of them marry models and such since these ppl are used to the limelight and being stressed by the press... look at sneijder and vdv and most players married childhood sweethearts look at owen, raul etc.. so you cant expect that a girl at 17 is going to go frigging to get a career when her husband moves all over... even then a lot of these girls have atleast A levels cleared and some university, Defoe's gal is a lawyer....

i think its very stupid that people are criticizing someone for doing what they want with money they get.... if i won the lottery i would be out travelling and living it up and doing things that i wanted to try for sure not fucking worrying about my CAREER... so i cant judge others for doing what they want with their money

Ashay K. said...

It was a satricial post kitty...I admire Raul's wife, Lampard's wife too is a presenter. Sylvie, like Minogue is an inspiration to females fighting breast cancer. So I know there are good ones too ;-)

And, you'd make a good WAG u know that :D

zizowen said...

ahhaha i think i would be too frigging involved in the play of the team to make a good WAG id probably insist on fucking going to practise ... id make a better PA ;)

as for the other comment ya i sort of blew off eh... but its just that i don't think people realize its not easy being a model or like victoria a singer of that fame ... they have it easy now but its not like they were one night stands that became wives...

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